There’s this sketch from back in the day on (I think) Sesame Street, where this kid is going to the grocery store to pick up something for his mum, and he repeats to himself as he makes his way to the shop: “A loaf a’ bread, a loaf a’ bread, I gotta remember, a loaf a’ bread.” As he’s walking through the neighborhood, he sees his friends playing basketball, he sees a cat in a tree, I don’t know, whatever. And his inward chant changes each time: “A basketball, a basketball, I gotta remember, a basketball,” you get the idea. When he gets to the store, he’s totally forgotten what he came for. Working backward in his mind, he runs through all the stuff he saw on the way over, and arrives at the loaf of bread he started out with. Nice job, kid.

Me, this afternoon I was mantra-ing my way over to the store when I ran into this guy I know. “Hi,” he said. “I have to buy toilet paper,” I said.

Ethan, are you reading this? I meant to say hi.