Going to see “Homebody/Kabul” at BAM tonight, which means tonight is the night Maggie Gyllenhaal (who is in the play) and I become best friends, which means Jake Gyllenhaal and I become best friends, at which point I will blind him with my grace and he will Gyllenfaal madly in love with me, which I kind of feel bad about, because I like Kirsten Dunst and I want her to be happy, and man, those pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal and Kirsten Dunst in Us every week sure make them look like they’re happy, but you know what, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

However!

The Kirsten Dunst–Jake Gyllenhaal union may still be saved ’cause I think I might like a boy and I think—this is huge, people—I think he might actually be straight this time. And he might like me. But who knows, because I don't know very much about him at all and he probably knows less about me. Still, it is smiley-making.