It’s aggravating that everyone and their dog is on their cell phones in the library and I can’t even get a bloody signal. But then it means that when I check my messages, I have such gems as the following 4:30 a.m. from Thusha:

“Hi, Meihui, it’s Thushala, I’m calling to tell you all about tonight’s adventures. . . . All these old uncle-uncle came and talked to me, okay. I tell you ah, I have this sign on my forehead that says, ‘Uncle come talk to me, come and check me out.’ Hm. But I was sitting with Andrea at the bar and this Aussie guy stepped on her foot, and I don’t know what made me say “OK, fine, buy us a drink, then!” He bought us two lychee martinis, so I think we’re in business. So I’m waiting for you to come back, and we can go and harrass people in Boat Quay and everywhere else and just harrass people. Yes? Yes? Yes? YES? I’m waiting for you to come back, come back, ’cause you’re insane and we can go do insane things, and so is Ren, and so is Andrea, so we’re all waiting to go pounce on the populace of Singapore and tekan them. So hurry up and come home! Come home! Good luck for your last exam—chill, you’ll be absolutely perfect. And, and, come home quickly! I’ve got chocolates and I’ve got alcohol. I went to buy three bottles of wine, okay? I’m chilling them. Quickly come back lah, we can drink and eat chocolates and go and tekan ah bengs. Come, come, come, OK? See you soon. Take care, bye.”

Who’s the Queen of Insania, then?